Story

Happy and proud to hang up a sign “This Town has had 1 Day without a Murder”, the good townspeople of Chaldea went back to their homes for a quiet night of rest and relaxation…is what I’d like to say, but as soon as the lights went out, they resumed their wild, dangerous, and duplicitous activities.
The sun had barely set before I Am the Senate ran up to a Broke Bitch and gave them some needed first aid, healing them and rubbing their shoulders encouragingly. The Broke Bitch wasn’t broke for attention at all, as a Custody Battle ran up to them and was seen working on them as well. The Broke Bitch was a backstabbing bitch here though and turned around to slap the Custody Battle away, attacking them but failing to leave a wound. Guessing they were a little ashamed of themselves for failing here, So You Mean to Tell Me a Shrimp Fried This Rice? came up to the Broke Bitch and gave them an edible as a pick me up.
Knowing it’s a school night and they’d have an early bedtime, a Middle School Mentality tried to attack themselves - though they chickened out at the last minute and protected themselves from that wound, figuring maybe school isn’t so bad a place to be cooped up in any way. Someone who didn’t bawk at violence was a Custody Battle who flew up to the Middle School Mentality and pecked them, which, you know, ouch, leaving them wounded. The rest of the night beakend to the Custody Battle and they left without so much as an “eggscuse me” or an “I hope you enjoy the roost of your evening.”
Scared from almost being denied service for being naked in public and hung out to die, a Proud Exhibitionist wanted to bare even more of themselves and fired their Noble Phantasm: Ramesseum Tentyris. Out of that great shining temple in the Sky (
) came three Helpful Shonxes. The Proud Exhibitionist picked up one to cuddle with it and sent another towards a Broke Bitch while the 3rd just kinda stood there. They seemed ready to do something else too, but a Bonafide Simp said he didn’t simp for pharaohs, he wasn’t Nitocris, and put a stop to any other moves the Exhibitionist was going to make that night, despite an attempt from Stop Being Poor to prevent him from leaving the house himself. Aight Imma Head Out seemed upset that they didn’t get to block the Proud Exhibitionist so they grumbled in his direction instead, leaving the Exhibitionist a little out of sorts. Cultural Appropriation said don’t mind me, I’m not here for any of you, ignoring that Mexican Standoff between the 3, and gave the Proud Exhibitionist a little bonus for the night. In the push of the crowd Cultural Appropriation was attacked and wounded by I’ve Come to Talk With You Again as the majority of the crowd there decided that the exhibitionist, while hot, wasn’t what they were there to see and began to disperse.
A Star Crossed Lover was also part of the crowd, and they wanted to wound Aight Imma Head Out but their blade was stopped by Self-Esteem Issues who might have been surprised at it working - they don’t hold themselves in very high regard, after all.
Still walking around the town unsure of themselves, a Broke Bitch was greeted by a Baby Yoda who kindly gave them something on the down-low, and Stop Being Poor who was glad to give a Broke Bitch even more of a handout, trying to raise them out of poverty. Baby Yoda was gone by this point, figuring this was as good a time as any to pull out a gun and shoot a Proud Exhibitionist, immediately killing the Helpful Shonx he was cuddling. Oops. Guess they’re a dog person.
A mysterious force was being mysterious near Hello Darkness My Old Friend but with everything this town has seen, it wasn’t enough to cause them concern and they just went about their business anyway thanks to prior help from a Baby Yoda. It wasn’t entirely enough to prevent them from feeling mad shook as soon as their errands were done, crippling them where they stood. Hunt for Red October was on the hunt for them and able to find them, giving them a pat of encouragement on the back. Satisfied they had done so well, the Hunt for Red October then gave themselves a pat on the back and stood a little taller afterward.
Michael Jordan leapt from the free-throw line just in time to shout to the Broke Bitch, calling their attention to an incoming attack by an Unknown Entity and allowing them to Dodge it, also passing them the ball afterward to set them up for their own score. Trying again, the Unknown Entity launched a second attack, but this time it was taken by the Helpful Shonx dispatched earlier, killing the poor sphinx.
Aight Imma Head Out knew the night was coming to a close but they held a grudge, and so punched and kicked the Unknown Entity, wounding them twice. Finally, a Proud Exhibitionist looked out the window longingly at a Custody Battle but just couldn’t work up the nerves to approach them as his house was still being watched by a Bonafide Simp.
Killed

2 of these adorable 'lil cuties